Time to change...

End of another winter and daylight savings time has lengthened our day. The attention of the populace turns to personal change in routine and maybe even in life. Organized by linear time, minutes, hours, days, years, has its advantages. In fact, it is essential for society to function cohesively. For most it represents security.

Living off the traditional time clock for the last year has been a gift and a lesson.
I've been aware of being truly present in my life. Following my natural biorhythms, especially in dealing with illness has reduced a great deal of stress around it. Pain management has taken a more natural course which has definitely been healthier.

Having time to be with people whose company I enjoy has enhanced my quality of life. True friendships deepened with time spent together. Better than Prozac or even chocolate, caring relationships are what sustains us. I've been available to help friends after surgery, find someone a new home and decorate it, clear out clutter and make trips to the hospital. My talents were put to use and I felt rewarded.

Spending time in nature was rejuvenating. Not only was the exercise beneficial, but witnessing the magic and majesty of this world inspired me. I became aware of the shifting nuances of light. The view may not have changed but my perception of it had changed hour by hour. The call of seagulls, the ringing of rigging against masts in the breeze, the lapping of waves as the tide turned, all brought joy. Seeing dogs frolic in abandoned play brought me back to being present for momentary pleasure.
I discovered hummingbirds everywhere in the quicksilver flicker of leaves.

Many things that I thought I wanted to pursue, like oil painting, I didn't. It must not have been a true calling or I would have done it. Instead, I relished the creativity of setting a lovely table for tea for friends who would appreciate the temporary artistry. I found more pleasure in the colorful palette of vegetables and spices in daily meal preparation than in the attempt to replicate beauty on a canvas.

I had the time to create and listen to inner dialogue, to process thought and become reacquainted with myself at the core. No sales spiel, or advertising spin, no placating, or making excuses, just following an idea all the way through. Quiet reflection and discovered wisdom, self awareness realized, and misconceptions recognized and released.

Financial constraints made me be grateful for what I have and not what I am missing.
How often we buy things trying to fill an emotional need not a practical one. Donating possessions, still useful or beautiful but just taking up closet space untouched for years, has made me feel wealthy. On rainy nights, I gave thanks for a warm, dry bed often taken for granted. I have wasted less, shared more, and savored daily gifts once unnoticed in the rush of making a living instead of a life.

It has been a year of reprieve. A breast biopsy benign, an incurable blind spot in my eye just outside if the field of vision, tumors growing where a womb once was, also harmless. After a long time waiting, a grandson was born. . Life goes on in our family.

My world has expanded with an infant discarded in Kenya. Named Hope, she has given me just that. She has hope for a future and I have hope in making a difference. As Ralph Waldo Emerson defines success, " to know one life has breathed easier because I have lived". Other lives have been touched by her little presence on earth, hearts filled with love.

I am grateful for all this past year has brought. Richer for the experience, wiser for the lessons, joyful for the love.

Confident that I can rise to the occasion of challenge and change, I welcome a new spring season. Opening the door to possibility and discovering more potential in whatever circumstances I find myself in, I plan to remain in gratitude and in service to the world.